my room smells like sperm. sweet.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
