im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
