IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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