so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
