There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
