This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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