yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
