Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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