you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
