time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize