I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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