It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Sext me about skeletons
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize