I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
And then he peed in my hair
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