One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
