with your own penis?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
