It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm always down for nudity.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
