you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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