Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Randomize
