A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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