My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
