All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
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