Where are you?
In a non slutty way
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize