his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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