i wish my penis had a tongue
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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