Define "chronic" masturbator.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I need to align my fucking chakras
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
