Buhtt sex?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
