I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
