He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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