dude i'm inner monologue high
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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