i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
