we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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