Whod you bang
She's JV to your varsity
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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