So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
being pregnant is like rehab
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
