I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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