areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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