his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he was CRYING into my vagina
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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