You just made me feel so damn special
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
