I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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