We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize