just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
