How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
