Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Someone signed my nipple.
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