We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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