I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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