Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
