I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
