Already got asked if we're dating
false alarm. still invincible.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
