8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
