It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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