maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
