I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
