I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
