but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
