Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
