I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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