If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
