..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
