even my farts smell like vagina
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
