I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
