Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
