How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
