we're blogging at a bar
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
