and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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