Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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