You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
