dude i'm inner monologue high
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
