Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
