This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
