I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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