if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
