dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
