Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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