so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
