i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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