3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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