Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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