My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
