Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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