Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
